WHENEVER LIFE GETS YOU DOWN MRS BROWN

AND THINGS SEEM HARD OR TOUGH

AND PEOPLE ARE STUPID,OBNOXIOUS OR DAFT

AND YOU FEEL THAT YOUVE HAD QUITE ENO-O-O-O-OUGH

JUST...REMEMBER THAT YOURE THAT YOURE STANDING

ON A PLANET THATS EVOLVING

AND REVOLVING AT NINE HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR

THAT'S ORBITING AT NINETY MILES A SECOND

SO IT'S RECKONED

A SUN THAT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL OUR POWER

THE SUN AND YOU AND ME

AND ALL THE STARS THAT WE CAN SEE

ARE MOVING AT A MILLION MILES A DAY

IN AN OUTER SPIRAL ARM AT FORTY THOUSAND MILES AN HOUR

OF THE GALAXY WE CALL THE MILKY WAY

OUR GALAXY ITSELF CONTAINS A HUNDRED BILLION STARS

IT'S A HUNDRED THOUSAND LIGHT YEARS SIDE TO SIDE

IT BULGES IN THE MIDDLE SIXTEEN THOUSAND LIGHT YEARS THICK

BUT OUT BY US IT'S JUST THREE THOUSAND LIGHTYEARS WIDE

WE'RE THIRTY THOUSAND LIGHTYEARS FROM GALACTIC CENTRAL POINT

WE GO ROUND EVERY TWO HUNDRED MILLION YEARS

AND OUR GALAXY IS ONLY ONE OF MILLIONS AND BILLIONS

IN THIS AMAZING AND EXPANDING UNIVERSE

THE UNIVERSE ITSELF KEEPS ON EXPANDING AND EXPANDING

IN ALL OF THE DIRECTIONS IT CAN WHIZZ

AS FAST AS IT CAN GO,THE SPEED OF LIGHT ,YOU KNOW

TWELVE MILLION MILES A MINUTE AND THATS THE FASTEST SPEED THERE IS

SO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING VERY SMALL AND INSECURE

HOW AMAZINGLY UNLIKELY IS YOUR BIRTH

AND PRAY THAT THERE'S INTELLIGENT LIFE SOMEWHERE UP IN SPACE

'CAUSE THERE'S BUGGER ALL DOWN HERE ON EARTH !

ISN'T IT AWFULLY NICE TO HAVE A PENIS

ISN'T IT FRIGHTFULLY GOOD TO HAVE A DONG

IT'S SWELL TO HAVE A STIFFY

IT'S DIVINE TO OWN A DICK

FROM THE TINIEST LITTLE TADGER

TO THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PRICK

SO THREE CHEERS FOR YOUR WILLY OR JOHN THOMAS

HOORAY FOR YOUR ONE EYED TROUSER SNAKE

YOUR PIECE OF PORK

YOUR WIFE'S BEST FRIEND

YOUR PERCY OR YOUR COCK

YOU CAN TIE IT UP IN RIBBONS

YOU CAN SLIP IT IN YOUR SOCK

BUT DONT TAKE IT OUT IN PUBLIC

OR THEY'LL STICK YOU IN THE DOCK

AND YOU WON'T....COME....BACK !

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