GIG REVIEW

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HALLOWEEN GIG AT GUILDFORD CIVIC HALL - 31 .10 . 97

By Andrew

I HAD TRAVEL BY CAR TO THIS GIG AFTER FINDING OUT HOW CRAP THE RETURN TRAIN SERVICE WAS TO GET ME BACK TO LONDON.I DIDN'T WANT TO DRIVE BECAUSE I WANTED TO SINK SEVERAL BEVVIES.HAVING BEING STUCK ON THE GOOD OLD M 25,THE SUPPORT BAND,THE ICE MUMMIES HAD ALL BUT FINISHED THEIR SET,AND FROM WHAT I SAW THEY WEREN'T TOO BAD.THE BAR AT THE CIVIC WAS PACKED ANYWAY,AND IT WAS TAKING AGES TO GET SERVED.BY THE TIME I EVENTUALLY GOT A PLASTIC GLASS OF PISS WEAK BEER,I WAS JUST IN TIME TO GET BACK IN THE MAIN HALL IN TIME TO SEE THE MUMMIES WALK OFF,ALL THE LIGHTS TO COME BACK ON,AND WATCH EVERYONE DISAPPEAR BACK TO THE BAR.

AFTER ABOUT ANOTHER 20 MINUTES OR SO,THE LIGHTS DIMMED AND THE FANS HOMED IN TOWARDS THE FRONT OF THE HALL.THE SMOKE MACHINE WAS DOING IT'S JOB,AND THROUGH THE SMOKE WE SAW THE LONE FIGURE OF MONTY THE MORON WALKING SLOWLY ACROSS THE STAGE HOLDING A SMOKE-FILLED GOLDFISH BOWL WITH A BRAIN (HIS??) INSIDE.( IS IT MY IMAGINATION OR DOES HE GET WIERDER EACH TIME I SEE HIM ?? ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD PLEASE. ! )

HE STARTED THE EERIE CHURCH ORGAN STYLE KEYBOARD SOLO , AND WE SAW A PRIESTLY LOOKING CAPTAIN BARRINGTON WHITE ,DOING WHAT LOOKED LIKE TAI CHI , AND BOY,DID HE TAKE SOME STICK.HE ENDURED THE ENDLESS CHANTS OFF 'F** OFF YOU WANKER ETC ETC,AND BEER AND GLASSES THROWN AT HIM(LUCKY FOR HIM,PLASTIC ONES !) HE STARTED MUMBLING ON ABOUT ' DO YOU WANNA SEE THE DAMNED? ' AND ALL THAT.WE WERE WONDERING IF WE WOULD BE SEEING THEM BECAUSE APPARENTLY DAVE AND PATRICIA TURNED UP LATE.

AND ON CAME THE REST OF THE GHOULISH CREW. DAVE , SUITABLY DRESSED FOR THE OCCASION ,AND WITH A PAIR OF DEVIL HORNS STUCK TO HIS FOREHEAD, MR SPOCK STYLE POINTED EARS AND A WISPY BIT OF BLACK FLUFF STUCK TO HIS CHIN. CAPTAIN SENSIBLE,NOW WITH HIS HAIR IN DREADLOCKS,AND A SHIRT AND WHICH MAD HIM LOOK LIKE A JERSEY COW. PATRICIA ,LOOKING GOTHIC AS EVER,SISTERS OF MERCY STYLE,AND GARRIE DREADFUL LOOKING LIKE..ERRR...GARRIE DREADFUL,AS ALWAYS WEARING HIS COLANDER SHIRT !!!

THE SCENE WAS SET,THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM STYLE MUSIC PLAYING COURTESY OF ONE MONTY,AND AFTER THE FAN'S USUAL ROUND OF ' SENSIBLE'S A WANKER ',AND ' YOU FAT BASTARD ' ,THEY GOT THINGS UNDER WAY , AND BLAZED THEIR WAY THROUGH PLAN 9 CHANNEL 7.WE CLUNG ON TO THE FRONT BARRIER TO ENDURE THE INITIAL CRAZINESS BEHIND US.THEN DAVE PASSES COMMENT ON CAPTAINS SHIRT,AND HOW HE COULD PULL A DOZEN GIRLS,WHICH LED INTO A NICE LITTLE SONG OF THE SAME NAME.....

NEAT NEAT NEAT ARRIVES NEXT WITH DAVE RUNNING AROUND WITH SEEMINGLY MORE ENERGY THAN USUAL .... ( ANY REASON DAVE?? )

WAIT FOR THE BLACKOUT AND I JUST CANT BE HAPPY TODAY ARE NEXT UP AND DAVE IS REALLY BEING ONE OF THE LADS THIS EVENING ,FLAUNTING AND FLIRTING WITH THE CROWD LIKE HE WAS DOWN THE PUB.I WONDER IF DAVE WILL BE LIKE THIS AT THE NEXT GIG,OR IF HE'LL BE BACK TO HIS USUAL,CAGEY,MYSTERIOUS SELF !!

DISCO MAN WAS WELL PLAYED AS CAPTAIN SEEMED MORE SOBER AND FOCUSED ( CAN THIS BE TRUE ? ) THAN USUAL.HE RELLED OFF THE RIFFS AS THOUGH HE WAS BORN WITH A PLECTRUM IN HIS HAND ( HANG ON,HE WAS WASN'T HE ?)

SHADOW OF LOVE CAME NEXT AND WAS ALMOST UNRECOGNISABLE UNTIL DAVE ACTUALLY STARTED TO SING.WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY ? CAPTAIN PLAYING SHADOW OF LOVE? WELL BELEIVE IT , IT' S TRUE .NOT THE SAME AS HEARING IT PLAYED BY ROMAN JUGG AND BRYN MERRICK,BUT IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR THIS LONG AWAITED ,RARE SNIPPET FROM PHANTASMAGORIA.iT WAS MORE SUITED TO A JAMMING SESSION,AS THE TIMING WAS A BIT OUT BETWEEN CAPTAIN AND PATRICIA.(CAUSING DAVE AND THE FANS TO WINCE SLIGHTLY !!! )

MONTY WAS ON FORM FOR THE EXCELLENT CURTAIN CALL,AND HE'D BEEN LEAPING ABOUT LIKE A DEMENTED COURT JESTER ALL EVENING.

THEY BLASTED THEIR WAY THROUGH ONE OF MY FAVOURITE DAMNED SONGS,NOISE NOISE NOISE AND THEN INTO MELODY LEE,WHICH WAS MARRED ONLY BY THE SOUND ENGINEER NOT GIVING DAVE ENOUGH VOCALS.

NEXT CAME LOOKING AT YOU ,AFTER WHICH DAVE INTRODUCED THE NEXT SONG SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF " WE HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS FOR A WHILE" OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT,I'M DOING THIS ALL FROM MEMORY YOU KNOW !!! THE SONG HE WAS TALKING OF BEING OF COURSE,ELOISE.ANOTHER MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN CAPTAIN,PAT AND GARRIE AS THEY WERE ENTERING THE SLOW MIDDLE BIT HAD US ALL CRINGING AND GIGGLING,PROMPTING DAVE TO "OH GOD HELP US ALL" THE LOOK ON HIS FACE SAID IT ALL,AS IF HE WANTED THE FLOOR TO OPEN UP AND SWALLOW HIM.STILL, IT GAVE US A GOOD LAUGH !!

I THINK THEY MUST HAVE BEEN GLAD THAT THIS WAS THE LAST SONG OF THE FIRST SET,AND TO GIVE THEM A BIT OF TIME TO DOWN A FEW JARS BACKSTAGE MAYBE ?...WHO KNOWS. NO SOONER HAD THEY GONE OFF, THE FANS WERE SHOUTING AND STAMPING THEIR FEET IN UNISON FOR THEM TO GET BACK ON,EVEN IF HEAVILY PROMPTED BY CAPTAIN BARRINGTON WHITE ,WHO THIS TIME CAME OUT WAVING A BIG RUBBER DONG IN FRONT OF HIM.(PHOTO BELOW ,JUST TO EMBARRASS HIM !! )THEY CAME BACK AFTER A SHORT TIME AND GOT STRAIGHT INTO LOVE SONG,ONE WHICH,I'M AFRAID TO SAY,PATRICIA HASN'T QUITE GOT THE HANG OF YET.

THEN......CAME THE COMPLETE MADNESS AS THE FAMILIAR TWANGING BY CAPTAIN TOLD US THAT THEY WERE ABOUT TO UNLEASH SMASH IT UP UPON US.NOW THE GIRLS THAT WERE DANCING AMONGST THEMSELVES AT THE SIDE OF THE STAGE STARTED TO USE THE WHOLE STAGE,AND THEN WHEN NEW ROSE WAS BEING HAMMERED OUT,SEVERAL MORE PEOPLE GOT ON THE STAGE,MAKING IT COMPLETE LUNACY.ONE GUY IN PARTICULAR DECIDING TO RUN AROUND NAKED ,EVEN MANAGED TO GRAB DAVE BY THE BALLS,AND I THINK DAVE WAS ENJOYING HIMSELF TOO MUCH TO PUT UP ANY RESISTANCE.I THOUGHT IT WAS USUALLY THE CAPTAIN WHO GOT HIS TACKLE OUT ON STAGE !!

AND THAT WAS THAT.IGNITE AND I FEEL ALRIGHT WERE ON THE LIST BUT DIDN'T MAKE AN APPEARANCE UNFORTUNATELY.BUT ALL IN ALL , A GREAT GIG,DESPITE THE SO CALLED SECURITY GUYS GETTING IN THE WAY ALL THE TIME AT THE FRONT.THEY COULDNT GET USED TO THE IDEA OF THE FANS GOING NUTS WHEN SONGS LIKE LOVE SONG AND SMASH IT UP WERE BEING PLAYED,THEY KEPT CLIMBING UP ON THE BARRIER AND PEERING OVER INTO THE CROWD AS IF THEY WERE FIGHTING !!! OBVIOUSLY THESE GUYS HADN'T STEWARDED AT A DAMNED GIG BEFORE.

A FEW OF US MANAGED TO GO BACK IN THE DRESSING ROOM ABOUT 20 MINUTES AFTER THE GIG FINISHED,WHERE THEY WERE ALL STILL IN GOOD FORM,ESPECIALLY DAVE WHO WAS MORE TALKATIVE THAN I'VE SEEN HIM FOR A LONG TIME.MONTY AND GARRIE WERE FOOLING AROUND LIKE THE ALCOHOL INDUCED LUNATICS THAT THEY ARE,AND CAPTAIN...WELL WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT HIM?? EATING THE TOP OF A PUMPKIN,CHASING GIRLS AROUND THE EMPTY STAGE,AND SWINGING ON CURTAINS ,PISSING OVER THE BALCONY OUTSIDE,THE LIST GOES ON !! SORRY CAP,BUT I THINK YOU'VE DONE CRAZIER THINGS IN THE LAST 21 YEARS,SO THIS AIN'T GONNA INCRIMINATE YOU !!!!

CHEERS !!!!

Captain Barrington White gets the fans going for the encore

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