Legal Talk

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The following questions, which were actually asked of witnesses by lawyers during trials, were published in a journal by the Massachusetts Bar Association:

Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning?

Q: So the date of conception was 8th August?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at that time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

A couple of others, origin unknown:

Q: Officer, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: About medium height, and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

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