National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts

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The National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts
Annual Accounts for the Year Ending 28 Feb 2007

Income & Expenditure Account

Membership subscriptions5,000.00 1
Grants received1,015.00 2
Royalties25,000,000.00 3
Fees for special services0.00 4
Total income 25,006,015.00
Wages & salaries20,003.00 5
Advertising5,321.67 6
Consultancy fees1,410.00
Political contributions100.00 7
Affiliation fees0.00 8
Total expenditure 26,834.67
Excess of income over expenditure 24,979,180.33

Balance Sheet

Fixed assets:
Lawns with fairy rings300,000.00
Woodland glades5,500,000.00 9
Intangible assets3.52 10
Total fixed assets 5,800,003.52
Current assets:
Stocks7.83 11
Debtors25,000,000.00 12
Cash at bank10.46 13
less current liabilities:
Creditors(5,820,278.74) 14
Outstanding fines(562.74) 15
Net current assets 19,173,635.88
Total net assets 24,979,180.33
Financed by:
Members' funds b/f 0.00
plus excess of income over expenditure 24,979,180.33
Members' funds c/f 24,979,180.33

Notes to the accounts:

1 Membership subscriptions:
The figure shown is after valuation of goods & services received at current market rates

2 Grants received:
The Leprechaun Foundation5.00
Cornish Piskie Preservation Society5.00
The Brigadoon Reclamation Fund5.00
European Federal Foundation of Free Fairies (EFFOFF)1,000.00

3 Royalties:
Royalties were claimed from the following:
The Brothers Grimm
Mother Goose
Terry Pratchett
The estate of Cicely Mary Barker (author of the Flower Fairies books)
Various theatre companies in respect of pantomime productions

4 Fees for special services:
We provided the services, but they wouldn't pay!

5 Wages & salaries
Wages of erks1.00
Salaries of NOBs*2.00
Life President10,000.00
Membership Secretary5,000.00
Total of wages, salaries & nominal payments20,003.00
* NOBs = notional office bodies

6 Advertising
This includes the web site cost, less income from advertisements displayed

7 Political contributions:
After careful consideration, this was paid to support the Let's Have a Party

8 Affiliation fees
Nobody would have us

9 Woodland glades:
This figure includes:
Acquisition costs
Cost of obtaining planning permission to grow birch trees and associated fly agaric
Cost of obtaining licences for public singing & dancing under the Licensing Act 2003

10 Intangible assets:
Myths, folklore, immortality, less negative goodwill

11 Stocks:
These consist of rainbow flakes, toadstool spores and birch saplings, valued at the lower of cost and net realisable value

12 Debtors:
See royalties claimed - nobody has paid up yet!

13 Cash at bank:
At current exchange rate for wild thyme, eglantine, oxlips, violets, musk roses and woodbine

14 Creditors:
See income and fixed assets - no cash apart from grants, so most people have not been paid

15 Outstanding fines:
These were incurred for:
Illegal distilling of spirits
Possession of magic mushrooms
Illegal parking of broomsticks and pumpkin coaches
Members being drunk and disorderly
Fortune telling, contrary to the Vagrancy Acts
Damage to native fauna and flora by collecting gossamer and wild bluebells for caps
Permitting a gnome to live in a toadstool on our land without planning permission
Permitting another gnome and his rabbit friend to live in a toadstool which had been condemned as not fit for human habitation - our plea that gnomes and rabbits are not human was dismissed as hare splitting, which led to another fine for cruelty to animals.

Auditors' Report

We have examined the accounts and supporting records for the year, and are pleased to report that in our opinion they represent a true and fair account of the union's affairs for the year and of its current assets and liabilities, but subject to the following minor qualification:
While we recognise that it is in the nature of the members of the union to be endowed with magical powers, nevertheless we cannot fail to be a little perturbed by the fact that the accounts have been prepared at the beginning of the year instead of the end. It is presumably for this reason that no supporting documents whatever were available to us, leading to the conclusion that the whole thing is a complete fiction.

Countitt, Grabbitt & Runn
Chartered Cantcountants
9th March 2006

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