National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts

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Constitution of The National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts (Initial draft)

1. Name
The union shall be called The National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts, or in abbreviated form as NUFSED.

2. Objects
The objects of the Union shall be to minimise the workload and maximise the income, alcohol consumption and sexual gratification of the members, and especially of the Life President.

3. Membership

4. Officers
The Officers of the Union shall be:

5. Membership subscriptions

6. Annual General Meeting
This shall take place each year at a different distillery or pub each time (on the grounds that no such establishment is likely to accept us a second time, and if they would then we don't want to frequent that sort of place - there are limits, even for us). The use of a brewery has been ruled out because it was found to be too difficult to arrange the necessary alcoholic refreshments there. (In case anyone should think this demonstrates incompetence, it should be pointed out that the secretary arranging it hasn't been elected yet, so he/she [whichever it turns out to be] was, at some time in the future, trying to manipulate what for him/her was/will be the past. I hope that's clear.)

The establishment hosting our meeting will be expected to provide the refreshments free of charge, and to show their appreciation of the honour of having us use their premises by providing appropriate levels of financial sponsorship (and if they fail, they had better watch out for what angry fairies, goblins and witches can do to the quality of their products - and to them personally).

The business of the Annual General Meeting shall be:

Note that there is absolutely no provision for motions of no confidence in any of the officers. Such motions are not permitted under any circumstances. Anyone attempting to move such a motion will be automatically and instantly expelled from membership and from the meeting. Don't try it. The trolls are ready and waiting to act - and they are liable to get carried away and axecute offenders (they are armed with axes). You have been warned!

7. Meetings
Any meeting, whether General or not, which begins on 31st October must have a bar extension until at least 3:30a.m. and preferably (much) longer. This is to provide for witches who work from midnight until 12:30a.m. and need refreshment when they finish. This is in no way to suggest that there would be any objection (from us) to a similar bar extension for other meetings.

8. Standing Orders
The standing orders for the conduct of meetings of the Union shall be:

Other orders (standing or seated) will be placed at the bar. If you can no longer stand or sit, you've had enough and are (literally) out of order.

9. Working conditions and rates of pay

10. Alterations to Constitution and Standing Orders

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