National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts
The Web Page for Members and Potential Members Only
To make a contrast with the picture on our home page, we show here a photo of Bottom, the Fairy Queen's boyfriend
Welcome to our page prepared specially for you.
Benefits of membership
Obviously, like any good trade union, we support our members in disputes with their employers and negotiate on their behalf to ensure proper recompense and working conditions. However, we go beyond this and have negotiated some special deals with outside suppliers of various goods and services, as well as providing certain other services exclusively to our members.
- NEW!! To help you meet the new legislative requirements, download and print this poster specially prepared for you
- Free, but limited supplies of organic rainbow flakes, collected by our own staff only from natural rainbows (strictly members only, while stocks last)
- Access to our members' library of books of spells, and we have also negotiated special terms for our members to have access to the library of the Royal College of Tooth Fairies
- NUFSED members only credit card, guaranteeing you special treatment whenever you present it for a purchase
- Free professional legal advice from our own solicitors, Messrs. Willowherb, Dandelion and Burdock, Hobgoblin House, Strait-Jacket Square, Ankh-Morbeaf (they are specialists in representing people arrested by the credit card fraud squad)
- Discounted supplies of fairy dust from a leading supplier
- 10% off all unicorn horn powder from Fables & Myths Unltd. (manufactured only from the finest horn taken from animals in their own organically raised herd which have died from natural causes or shed their horns naturally)
- Reduced rate professional insurance covering public liability insurance, professional indemnity insurance (just think of the damages likely to be awarded if you accidentally turn someone into a toad when their wish was for a meal of toad-in-the-hole), and work-place accident insurance including special cover for shape-changers in case they find they are unable to change back.
- We are now developing an award scheme for members who have enhanced the reputation of our union and its members by performing services beyond the call of duty - watch this space for further news!
- Plans are being made to build a suitable rest home for retired members. This will be built using surplus funds accumulated over the coming years. Don't hold your breath.
- Learn on this special members-only page how you can genuinely experience the thrill of flying on a broomstick, just like the witches of old.
- We have introduced a new membership incentive scheme, giving members an opportunity to boost their income and help the Union at the same time.
So where do you go from here?
If you are a member, click here or scroll down past the application form.
If you are not yet a member, then what better time to apply for membership, now you have shown yourself to be stupid enough to visit this web page! Fill in the form below, then click on the "submit" button.
Application Form for Membership of NUFSED
I hereby apply for membership of the National Union of Fairies, Sprites, Elves and Dropouts, and undertake to pay the requisite subscription, as specified in the constitution.
Already a member?
This is amazing. You claim to be a member already, but we haven't yet accepted any of the thousands of applications received. Please tell us how you did it in the space below:
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