why?
now i had a think about this and it could end up in yemen, iraq or north korea. so some rules...
im gonna through three darts (em led will be official judge) in to a map. any that land in the sea can be thrown until they land in a country. then ill pick the country from the three.
i think thats only fair.
done?
half done!
7/05/06
okay. i thought it would be best to get going on this and actually chuck the darts. if they landed in the artic, australia and papua new guinea then im gonna need some time to save up. first step was to buy the world map, so i popped down to woolies to check out their poster section (i knew woolies would come in hand one day) and argos to get some darts. woolies had the map (just under three quid, bargain!) but upon arriving at argos, and checking on their nifty checking machine, they didnt have their cheapest in stock, which were only a fiver. the only one they had available was a set for over a tenner and lets face it, that tenner might be needed in order to save up for a trip to kazakhstan or somewhere. however, at home i have one of those magnetic dartboards. a couple of lateral thinking minutes later and the solution presented itself: attach the world map to the radiator and throw the magnetic darts at it. genius! i had the em led on hand as adjudicator who also blindfolded me. so...
first things first, the map...
on the point of fairness, you will notice that although the bottom of the map hangs over the edge of the radiator, all the countries are contained within the confines of the main body of the heating appliance. yes, i know antarctica is under the edge... but... thats a good thing: i cant go to antarctica without sir ranulph fiennes and a pack of huskies. and i dont have either of those. and i bet they are expensive too (fiennes looks like a very reasonable bloke, but i bet he costs more to hire for an expedition than a plumber on xmas day. to do plumbing i mean, not help me with an expedition across antarctica. that would be stupid).
the darts...
these are standard issue magnetic darts. regulation weight and flight.
the blindfold...
yes, that is one of my work ties as we dont own any blindfolds (were not that type of couple). just to reassure everyone, i was blindfolded in the kitchen and the em led then led me through to the lounge. i actually sat down to throw the darts - this picture was posed (im a professional, darling).
now, the rules. the em led would hand back any darts that didn't stick, or landed in the sea. if the dart landed in two countries then it would be the country that the dart most covered that would count. quite a few missed altogether, or didn't stick. i also had an amazing derren brown-like ability to keep getting the atlantic ocean, or the "atlantic 'fucking' ocean" as the em led renamed it after she picked up the fiftieth dart from the area (i think the tension and excitement got to her somewhat). i also was not allowed to find out which three areas had been hit until the task was completed.
so, the first one hit...
iceland! i couldn't hit that without a blindfold if i tried! but hey, that's not too bad. bjork, snow, geezers... and quite expensive. but hey, could have been worse (greenland is very close).
after a few more radiators, and atlantic oceans (sorry em led), the second one found a home...
nicaragua! you know, famous for... erm... well... being near mexico. i have no feelings about this other than its a long way away. and they probably smoke cigars there. next...
after a few more ocean shots and a number that didnt even make the radiator, i got my third hit...
this one pleased the em led, as it was over a couple of countries and she was able to finally excel in her role as adjudicator. although the dart was slightly over poland, what you cant see from the photo is that slovakia was completley covered by the dart. so adjudicator em led made the call. dunno much about slovakia, but i imagine that they eat a lot of potatoes there and probably have a lot of youth hostels (which might be a bonus).
below, adudicator em led (with a knowing face that says "i oversaw this entire process") can be seen, complete with map and dart.
so, iceland, nicaragua and slovakia then:
now when i first thought of this stupid task i reasoned that out of three darts one would probably land somewhere id already visited (canada and the usa were big bets), one would land somewhere like iraq where i wasnt allowed to go and id end up going to the third dart location (in my mind somewhere like new zealand or barbados). but i guess iceland, nicaragua and slovakia are are all do-able and as i dont really know much about any of the three, any one would be kinda cool.
so i think ill put it to the vote. over the next week or so ill email my friends and family and ask them to pick a place, then ill publish the results on here. if you dont know me and happen to stumble across this page feel free to email me and make your vote along with a couple of lines about why you chose that country. then have a quick think about what youve spent the last couple of minutes doing, and then maybe get a hobby or something. just kidding.
anyway, check back in a week or two and ill let you know the outcome.
13/05/06
the results are in! click here.
