Using My Bathroom
I look in the mirror and see the devil,
that handsome dude is combing his hair and straightening his
I've also seen him in many other mirrors.
He's a transvestite.
Sometimes he wears dresses and fusses with makeup.
If I ever could sneak into a crowded ladies' room,
the reason for the long lines would be revealed.
In many mirrors
I'd see many incarnations of him dressed in many styles,
accessorizing his myriad faces, especially with lipstick,
but never with a 5 o'clock shadow,
for that I'd need the mirrors in the men's room.
Right now, however, he's in my mirror and in my face.
I don't mind; after all, he's one good-looking chap.
But there's an annoying imp jumping up and down behind his
Is it a he or she?
I don't really know, because that midget keeps bobbing up and
down too fast.
There's definitely something circular above its head.
It could be either a halo or the wheel of an Edsel.
I also glimpse what could be the tips of two white wings,
or feather dusters attached to the shoulders by wires.
I could swear that damn bratty shrimp is sticking its tongue
out at me.
Just for a moment I wish Mr. Goodlooking would step aside,
so I can tell that hyperactive troll to scram.
Then, with no more distractions, alone and intimate with my
I can marvel how that handsome devil marvels at what he sees
Richard Fein says: Like
Uriah Heep, I take great pride in my humbleness.
If you've any comments on this poem, Richard Fein would be pleased to hear from you.